Mariage One-liners


  • You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
  • At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other women replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
  • A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine.
  • When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
  • Eighty percent of married men cheat in the U.S.A. The rest cheat in Canada.
  • A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
  • A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
  • Young son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: Yes son, but that happens in every country.
  • Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and by then it was too late."
  • Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
  • If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
  • Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
  • You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.
  • Husband: Want a quickie? Wife: As opposed to what?
  • First guy: "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
  • Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.

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Submitted on: 31 January 2003 by Wonder
Joke ID: 2133


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